Jonathan Harker (Bram Stoker's original novel)

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Keeping

44. “Personal Space Reminder” - A small handheld device that, when you press a button, generates an external current of electricity. Could be dangerous if you touched someone with the electric parts!
54. _____ in Wonderland - A copy of Alice in Wonderland, except Alice’s name has been replaced with yours. That’s the power of public domain, baby.
45. “Social Distancing Device” - A six-foot-long staff, with a pointed blade at the end. Yep, it’s a spear! Has all the powers of a spear, too. Like stabbing.
58. Hawaiian Shirt - Dealer’s choice of any of these button-ups! Pretend like you’re on a cruise-themed murdergame instead of this one.
05. Life-Sized Stuffed Penguin - A stuffed penguin about a foot and a half tall. Looks almost real, but is almost unbelievably soft.
25. Bathrobe - A cheap deep red bathrobe, for when you want to look classy in your study but you just aren’t the kind of person with money for things like “a study” or “books” or “quality fabric.”
41. “Letter Opener” - A serrated combat knife that wouldn’t be out of place trying to survive in the wilderness.
49. At-Home Planetarium - A glass ball that lights up and projects stars! Doesn’t work if the room is too big or if the lights are on, though.
59. VILE-Brand Pen - A souvenir waterproof pen with the acronym VILE on it. Great for signing checks!
52. Funko Pop - A Funko Pop of one of your loved ones, namely Mina Harker! Collect them all!
07. Nisse - A stuffed friend for the holidays, or really any other time of the year - Gaze upon it, love it, take it home.

Give Away

09. Marionette - An intricate and complex puppet that either looks creepy or cool, depending on your point of view. Surprisingly fun to mix and match with each other!
24. Punk Jeans - A pair of black skinny jeans torn and safety pinned back together so thoroughly, you’re not sure how much of the fabric is left. But hey, they fit!
43. “Extra-Large Spice Grinder” - It’s. It’s just a full-on Medieval-style mace.
Portrait: A visibly antique painting of some guy on a horse.
09. Marionette - An intricate and complex puppet that either looks creepy or cool, depending on your point of view. Surprisingly fun to mix and match with each other!
39. The Dreaded Knarrevik - An IKEA-branded nightstand! Comes unassembled in-box with the instructions missing. Good luck!
20. Blobfish Kigurumi - No one asked for this. No one needed to bring this into the world.
45. “Social Distancing Device” - A six-foot-long staff, with a pointed blade at the end. Yep, it’s a spear! Has all the powers of a spear, too. Like stabbing.
34. Charlie Pants - A doll of a just wildly creepy-looking clown.
45. “Social Distancing Device” - A six-foot-long staff, with a pointed blade at the end. Yep, it’s a spear! Has all the powers of a spear, too. Like stabbing.
69. A Cool Refreshing Beverage - Nice!
Phone - A white iPhone. It's not locked, and it's open to two separate Yahoo Answers questions, with rather unhelpful responses.
54. _____ in Wonderland - A copy of Alice in Wonderland, except Alice’s name has been replaced with yours. That’s the power of public domain, baby.
54. _____ in Wonderland - A copy of Alice in Wonderland, except Alice’s name has been replaced with yours. That’s the power of public domain, baby. …Wait, is it public domain yet back in vampire times?
37. Do-It-Yourself Mime Kit - A very fancy makeup kit! All in shades of white and black. If being a mime isn’t your thing, it might Miraculously help you fit in with a different group of people…
Green Hooded Sweatshirt (Renewable) - A size L hooded sweatshirt! The cheap kind you get at dollar stores.
25. Bathrobe - A cheap deep red bathrobe, for when you want to look classy in your study but you just aren’t the kind of person with money for things like “a study” or “books” or “quality fabric.”

Consumed

01. Donut - These donuts are great! Jelly-filled are my favorite! Which is to say yes, this is a single jelly-filled donut. It doesn’t even look suspiciously like any other kind of food.
65. A Bag of Chocolate Chip Cookies - Homemade and full of chocolate-chip goodness!
03. Tea Variety Pack - An assortment of different teas, mostly green tea blends. If you find one you like, better hope another one of these drops, because there’s only one of each in here!
01. Donut - These donuts are great! Jelly-filled are my favorite! Which is to say yes, this is a single jelly-filled donut. It doesn’t even look suspiciously like any other kind of food.

Tossed

56. Stuffed Big Daddy - A stuffed toy shaped like… a huge man with a drill for a hand? Don’t worry, he’s soft!

God save this sweet little guy